The loneliness of Zwe
Zwelihle soaps Ndumiso thoroughly, dries him with a frayed face cloth then smears Vaseline over his square little face and body while the seven-year-old giggles and wriggles.
But before 15-year-old Zwelihle has a chance to wash himself, Dumazile Ndlovu, a neighbour, bursts in wearing her nightgown.
‘You awake? Come on, wash, wash, wash. Why haven’t you ironed? Look at these clothes. Go and fetch the iron, Zwe.’
Wordlessly Zwe Madlala, a dark, serious teenager with big eyes, goes up the steep path to Dumazile’s house. He returns a few minutes later with the iron and sets to work on a tumbled pile of school clothes that he had washed the day before.
By this time, Ndumiso is shivering and Zamokuhle, who is 11, wants to know what he should prepare for breakfast.
For the past 18 months, Zwe has tried to take care of his two younger brothers in a two-roomed home in Copesville on the outskirts of Pietermaritzburg.
Death has passed through the basic concrete block house three times in recent years, robbing the boys of the only adults who could have cared for them.
The most recent victim was their mother, who died in January 2002 after being bed-ridden for several months suffering from diarrhoea and tuberculosis. Her death followed shortly after that of her boyfriend. Before him, Lindiwe, the boys’ big sister died at the age of 20.
‘Ntombi Eunice, (born) 1966,’ Zwe says of his mother. He volunteers little else except that she earned a bit of money by washing and cleaning for a family in the predominantly Indian area in the valley below Copesville.
He does not know where she came from originally. None of the boys has ever known their fathers. Their only known relative is an aunt ‘who is always drunk’, according to Dumazile.
Copesville is a settlement of refugees; rural dwellers who fled violence during the 1980s. Histories have been lost and family ties broken by the relocation.
Although shy and reticent in the company of adults, Zwe says he would like an adult to live with them. ‘To help with Ndumiso,’ he says, indicating to the little boy who is sitting very close to him on the single bed dressed in an oversized ‘Incredible Hulk’ tracksuit.
Under the bed, there is a tangle of unwashed clothes, the only sign in the otherwise sparse but neat house that children are in charge.
Ndumiso nods emphatically when asked if he remembers his mother. His slanted eyes fill with tears but no words come out when asked what he remembers about her.
Zwe and Ndumiso stick together over weekends. Ayo Diti, the seven-year-old neighbour who lost his mother in December and Phumlani, Dumazile’s 15-year-old son, are their constant companions.
‘Phaa, phaa, phaaa’. The boys kick a flattish soccer ball around on the narrow strip of orange dust in front of the house. Each time Zwe dribbles past one of the others, a giggle of delight bursts from him ‘ brief moments of pleasure in his overburdened young life.
Zamo, however, doesn’t stick around. A bit of a comic, who often communicates with exaggerated expressions, he roams the township most of the weekend. ‘Just visiting’, he says vaguely before disappearing.
Gone for six or seven hours at a time, Zamo’s life seems to be slightly out of step with that of his brothers. He cooks and washes for himself, too old for Zwe’s care but too young to care successfully for himself.
Zamo says friends visit him, but he doesn’t know if they realise he doesn’t have parents. ‘We never talk about it,’ he says.
Zwe does not talk about their situation either: ‘I don’t tell anyone we are living alone. There is no reason.’
He also does not accept food from the school feeding scheme although this is how the two younger boys get lunch. He won’t explain why he boycotts the feeding scheme, but it is clear that the quiet boy is intent on preserving a public façade of normality in his little home and perhaps accepting a handout would be an acknowledgement that all is not well with the Madlalas.
A grade seven pupil, Zwe says he is managing to pass but that there is no one to help him when he gets stuck with homework.
‘I am scared of teachers,’ admits Zwe. ‘I have never asked for any help. I am not used to asking for help.’
Although Zwe tries to help them, the younger boys are floundering at school. Zamo is repeating Grade Three and failed at half-year. Ndumiso, in grade one, also failed mid-year and says he struggles with writing.
Fortunately for the boys, their predicament was noticed early on by their neighbour, Dumazile, who works as a volunteer for an organisation called Thandanani.
Dumazile is a member of the local children’s committee, which identifies orphans and children living with sick parents. The volunteers report such children to Thandanani’s fieldworkers, who help to organise food and school fees for the kids and try to identify relatives or foster parents for them.
The local councillors is supportive and has bought groceries for orphans from time to time, but otherwise Thandanani struggles on alone ‘ despite a high-profile visit to the area last year by Social Development Minister Zola Skweyiya and the promise of monthly food parcels.
‘We did manage to find a woman to look after the Dladla boys, but unfortunately she got a job elsewhere so she couldn’t stay with them,’ says Thandanani’s development facilitator, Bheki Dladla.
What is keeping the Madlala boys going, however, is an R800 monthly sponsorship organised by Thandanani. The man behind the money is a government official offered to sponsor a family after meeting a Thandanani staff member while he was working at the South African embassy in France. His contribution covers the boys’ groceries and pre-paid electricity while Thandanani’s European donors cover their school fees.
Although much of Zwe’s leisure time is spent washing, cleaning and cooking, he says: ‘My life is OK. There is peace between us.’
When I tell Zwe he is doing a brilliant job keeping his family together, for the first time in two days he holds my gaze and gives me a dazzling smile. Zwe Madlala does not want pity, but he does need help, support and encouragement.
· Thandanani Children’s Foundation can be contacted at 033 345 1857, www.thandanani .org.za
E-mail Kerry Cullinan
Related story: Legal dilema of child-headed households
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