KHOPOTSO: Peter Busse is an AIDS educator based in Johannesburg. Unlike many people paralysed by the knowledge that they are HIV-positive, he did not waste time in disclosing his status when he was diagnosed 20 years ago. He says he realised early on that in order to get assistance and support he had to speak up.

PETER BUSSE:    The first step that I needed to take to make sure that I could access that support was to say the simple words: ‘€œI’€™m HIV-positive.’€ You can’€™t get support; you can’€™t get help unless you’€™ve said: ‘€œThis is what the problem is’€¦ and this is what I need help for.’€    

KHOPOTSO: What you’€™re saying is actually contrary to most people’€™s experience in South Africa’€¦ You make it sound very easy?  

PETER BUSSE: No, it’€™s not very easy at all because I think as a human being our biggest fear is being rejected. And I think that’€™s what disclosure is all about. You’€™re telling or sharing some important news about who you, what you are, a sort of essential part about your identity’€¦ You’€™ve got something that is generally taboo, that is quite socially stigmatised and sort of disapproved of.

KHOPOTSO: For 40-something year-old Busse, disclosing his HIV status felt like having to come out of the closet all over again.        

PETER BUSSE: I had two disclosures ‘€“ the one in my very early 20s, of coming out as a gay man’€¦ And then, some years after that having to repeat that whole process but just with a different package and it’€™s like: ‘€œHi, everybody. I told you that I’€™m gay. I’€™m now coming along and saying I’€™m HIV positive.’€

KHOPOTSO: Two different courageous acts, which are bound by one thing. Because homosexuality and HIV are so laden with stigma the disclosure of either can potentially result in labelling or persecution ‘€“ a possibility that Busse is well aware of.        

PETER BUSSE:    Both being gay and being HIV-positive are aspects of who I am, what I am. They don’€™t define me. They’€™re not all that I am. And I’€™ve always been very careful not to be labelled: ‘€œThis is the HIV-positive person.’€ It’€™s always been: ‘€œThis is Peter’€ with an understanding of who I am, who happens to be gay and who happens to be HIV-positive.                    

KHOPOTSO: For Busse, disclosure of both his sexual orientation and HIV-positive status aimed at fulfilling two goals.

PETER BUSSE: Coming out as a gay person, coming out as somebody who is HIV-positive has almost been like a political and a personal combination. In terms of the personal I’€™ve always felt that it’€™s necessary for me to state very clearly: ‘€œThis is who I am. This is what I am. This is not a defining label. But it’€™s part and parcel of Peter’€. And politically, just to challenge the silences ‘€“ the fact that both the gay and HIV-positive community is largely hidden from society’€¦        

KHOPOTSO: It’€™s not uncommon that news that a potential partner is HIV-positive can send one packing. But even so, Busse’€™s honesty and openness about his HIV status has taught him that people can be tolerant and accepting of people with HIV.                      

PETER BUSSE: The interesting thing is (that) all my subsequent partners have been HIV-negative’€¦ That’€™s been incredibly interesting to me that somebody knowing my status, because I’€™ve always been open about it before the relationship has started, has had the courage and the desire to enter into a relationship with somebody who is HIV-positive. And I’€™m really full of admiration for people like that. Because I just think if I were them without having learnt and thought about everything that I’€™ve thought about through being positive would I be doing the same thing? And I’€™ll never know the real answer to that.