When love conquers
Living with AIDS # 214
NTOMBIKAYISE NDZINISA:
I’m Ntombikayise Ndzinisa. I stay at Protea Glen’¦ I started to know that I’m HIV positive five years ago. It was a very painful situation when I found out. But at first I didn’t believe it and I went for a second test. That’s when I nearly died because that’s when I took it into my heart that I am HIV-positive. I didn’t find out because I was sick’¦ Not that I was sleeping with everybody’¦ In that state I found myself lucky that I had a mind of thinking about HIV because I’ve never been sick’¦ In our Church, on Good Friday, our Bishop wanted a support group. He knew my status. And then he asked me if I can go open to the people. In our church we are plus-minus eight thousand. So, I agreed that I’d tell them my status so that if there’s somebody else or other people who are also infected they will come and know that I’m available to tell them about my status. They can also do that and have that support group. Then, Albert Ndzinisa ‘ in our church we don’t have a Reverend, we call them the Priest. He was my priest then as now he is still my priest. Before I disclosed on Good Friday that year he already knew because in our branch I used to talk openly about HIV. And most of the time he used to take me as a person who was just joking. He didn’t believe it until on Good Friday when I was there on stage saying ‘I’m HIV-positive’. He came to me knowingly. I didn’t have to explain anything to him because he knew.
ALBERT NDZINISA:
I’m Albert Ndzinisa. I’m staying in Protea Glen’¦ I love my wife very much. Because I love her I don’t have a problem’¦Many people opposed me. Many people talk otherwise’¦ kule-issue ye-sex, kahle-kahle i-sex isuk’ ekuthandeni. If umuntu umuthanda uyeneliswa nje without i-sex. On my side kunogcosu lokuthi uNtombi ngiyamthanda. Angibhilivi lokhu bathi i-sex ayiyona i-sex if I use a condom. Kimi kuyi-sex nje, kuyafanana.
TRANSLATION:
When it comes to sex, sex is about love. You can still love somebody without having sex with them. And I don’t believe in what people say – that sex with a condom is no sex. To me it’s sex. It’s no different.
NTOMBIKAYISE NDZINISA:
To those people who are living with HIV, I think it’s high time they come out of the closet and face it’¦ If you are staying there in your home alone with your partner you won’t know anything and you’ll end up always fighting, blaming each other because some of us were not lucky that a partner came already knowing, as my partner came to me already knowing. Some of you guys it was found out while you were together. And you end up blaming each other: ‘Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s you’’¦
Face the HIV, not the person’¦ HIV is there and it’s not going anywhere until we are all together fighting it. So, I appeal to all the couples: Let’s help each other.
ALBERT NDZINISA:
Ngizavele ngigcizelele. Abantu mababe-open about HIV. Ayinamuntu okleva. Ayinamuntu oyisilima. Yona nje iyo ekleva than thina abantu’¦ Njengoba unkosikazi esho ukuthi abantu mababe open ku-partner wakhe’¦ Kodwa abantu bayahlupha ngoba uma u-open babese bayajika otherwise, bathi into uyithola ngoba uyafeba. Futhi, let me say I’m infected bangafuni ukuthi ngicabuze umntwana, sidlalise umntwana. Abantu mabeze ku-support group bezwe ukuthi how you can catch i-HIV.
TRANSLATION:
I want to stress that people must be open about their HIV status. HIV does not have a clever person. Nor does it have a stupid person. It’s cleverer than us. As my wife says, couples need to open up to each other. But, humankind is confusing. If you are open about your status they say it’s because you have slept around. They don’t even want you to play with their babies. People must attend support groups to find out exactly how one can catch HIV.
NTOMBIKAYISE NDZINISA:
As I’m HIV-positive, my husband wants me to live longer. I also want him to live longer. It’s all about to live a healthy life. We don’t have an HIV life in our home. We have a normal, happy life with dreams’¦ We have no plans of having children because I already have two kids. He already has 11 kids, if we include two of my children. So, we don’t have plans of having a baby because of money. We won’t afford to have a baby, not because of HIV. It’s because we already have kids. Mine and his ‘ they make 11. So, we won’t have kids.
ALBERT NDZINISA:
Abantu mababambisane umuntu angabukeli phansi omunye umuntu onalesisifo’¦ Ngincusa abantu ukuthi babenokwazi kodwa bangathathelan’ i-shame.
TRANSLATION:
Let us not despise those with HIV. I encourage people to be informed and not to feel shame for someone with HIV.
Couples’ counselling is offered at the Tshwarisanang Centre at the Peri-natal HIV Reseacrh Unit at Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital. Contact: (011) 989-9840.
e-mail: Khopotso Bodibe
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When love conquers
Living with AIDS # 214
by Khopotso Bodibe, Health-e News
May 11, 2005