‘Speak up and walk away’ says domestic abuse survivor
Born in deep rural village of Gogogo, outside of Thohoyandou, Sengani has survived domestic violence at the hands of her ex-boyfriend.
“I was physically, emotionally and financially abused by the man I thought loved and cared about me. I would get beaten for silly things, like talking to a guy or getting a lift from a male colleague. The worst was when I would get beaten for not feeling intimate, as he would often say I am cheating on him,” said Sengani.
Sengani said the abuse began in the first months of the relationship and lasted for about two years.
“I was abused under my own roof. I used to be forced to entertain him and his friends. I was expected to buy them alcohol with my own money, and if I refused I used to get beaten thoroughly,” she said.
Speak up and encourage
She has since qualified as an electrical engineer and currently runs a marketing company. She currently has a group of 40 women who she is helping to leave their own abusive relationships and cope.
Sengani said that she never told anyone about the abuse she endured years ago until last month. She found out that her close friend had been killed by her boyfriend and was shocked. The news encouraged her to speak up and encourage other abused women to break their silence and leave their situations before they are killed.
“I still remember, it was on a Saturday night when he beat me so hard that I was knocked unconscious for few hours and left alone in the house. That’s the day I decided that enough is enough, and I left for good without telling him. From that day, I never looked back. It’s not easy to leave an abusive relationship, but I thank God who gave me strength,” she said.
She was among a group of women who marched to the Union Buildings over the weekend as part of the Not In Our Name campaign against violence against women and children.
Sengani will be launching the campaign in Vhembe on June 16.
Life after abuse
“For us to win this fight as a nation we need to work together and fight against what is happening in our society. I know many of us are afraid to come out and speak about what is happening in our relationships. But it’s the only way we can win this fight. We have to stand up and say enough is enough,” she said.
“I want to inspire other young women who are being abused, and let them know that there is life after abuse. We just have to stick together as women and encourage each other to succeed and be independent in life,” she added.
Sengani believes that many women are unable to leave abusive relationships because they fear being alone. Vhembe-based social worker Peggy Mulaudzi said she encouraged abused women to come forward and seek assistance from organisations offering help.
An edited version of this story appeared in The Star.
Author
Republish this article
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Unless otherwise noted, you can republish our articles for free under a Creative Commons license. Here’s what you need to know:
-
You have to credit Health-e News. In the byline, we prefer “Author Name, Publication.” At the top of the text of your story, include a line that reads: “This story was originally published by Health-e News.” You must link the word “Health-e News” to the original URL of the story.
-
You must include all of the links from our story, including our newsletter sign up link.
-
If you use canonical metadata, please use the Health-e News URL. For more information about canonical metadata, click here.
-
You can’t edit our material, except to reflect relative changes in time, location and editorial style. (For example, “yesterday” can be changed to “last week”)
-
You have no rights to sell, license, syndicate, or otherwise represent yourself as the authorized owner of our material to any third parties. This means that you cannot actively publish or submit our work for syndication to third party platforms or apps like Apple News or Google News. Health-e News understands that publishers cannot fully control when certain third parties automatically summarise or crawl content from publishers’ own sites.
-
You can’t republish our material wholesale, or automatically; you need to select stories to be republished individually.
-
If you share republished stories on social media, we’d appreciate being tagged in your posts. You can find us on Twitter @HealthENews, Instagram @healthenews, and Facebook Health-e News Service.
You can grab HTML code for our stories easily. Click on the Creative Commons logo on our stories. You’ll find it with the other share buttons.
If you have any other questions, contact info@health-e.org.za.
‘Speak up and walk away’ says domestic abuse survivor
by NdivhuwoMukwevho, Health-e News
June 23, 2017