Duration: 4min 08 sec

Transcript

KHOPOTSO: Dimpho is a 29- year old single mother of two children. She works as an educator at the AIDS Counselling Care and Training Centre at Soweto’€™s Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital, in Johannesburg.

DIMPHO: First point, when you are going to use a condom you’€™re supposed to teach your partner about a condom before you have sex. The second one, if your partner doesn’€™t use a condom you’€™d rather leave sex because nowadays we have a problem about HIV and AIDS.

KHOPOTSO: But Dimpho often finds it difficult to apply her teachings of safe sex in her own personal life.  

DIMPHO: The first time when you teach about safer sex, he feels you judge him. But after some time when you’€™re still continuing about safer sex he accepts, then he’€™s going to use it (a condom).

KHOPOTSO: What do you mean when you say that he feels that you are judging him?

DIMPHO: He thinks, maybe, he has HIV or maybe, I have HIV.

KHOPOTSO: Thandi is 32 years old, married and also a mother two. She, too, has problems discussing, and insisting on, safe sex with her husband.

THANDI: It’€™s difficult to tell my husband to use a condom. He asks me: ‘€˜Why use a condom? You know about your status. Now why (do) you say can we use a condom if you know about your status?’€™

KHOPOTSO: But, Thandi would not be drawn on her status, nor on whether she has reason to not trust her husband. Many married women who have remained faithful to their husbands today find themselves infected with HIV. All that Thandi could say was that she and her husband have never been for an HIV test ‘€“ something that (25 year-old) Sonto firmly believes in.

SONTO: I think it’€™s going to be easy if you both go for a test. The outcome of the result is whereby it’€™s going to be easy even whether they are positive or negative results. But it’€™s going to be easy for you to use a condom because if you are both negative you are going to practice safer sex. If you are positive again you are going to still want to use a condom to protect yourself.

KHOPOTSO: But, I don’€™t understand. Why if the results come out negative would you want to use a condom because you’€™d obviously have a feeling of trust that ‘€˜I am not infected, my partner is not infected. So, why the need for a condom?

SONTO: Ha-ha. I know. But, you know what? Love them all, but trust no one because HIV is here and it’€™s something that you cannot run off it, more especially if you are not staying with your partner. Even if you are staying with him ‘€“ you can’€™t be sure that he doesn’€™t fool around. You are just protecting yourself. It doesn’€™t mean when you are using a condom you won’€™t fall pregnant or you won’€™t get (an) STD. You can if you misuse the condom. But, believe me or not, you do find some difficulties. Even though your boyfriend can agree to use a condom, there will be one day (when) he will say ‘€˜I am tired of this plastic of yours, you know.’€™

KHOPOTSO: Sonto’€™s boyfriend of eight years understands her need for condom usage, but he does not always accept it.

SONTO: He can make sure that today, for instance, when we are busy making love start to be rough. And I will say ‘€˜no, don’€™t do it like that because the condom will blast.’€™ (He’€™ll say)

‘€˜no, it won’€™t,’€™ just to make sure that the condom that day must blast just because he didn’€™t want to use it, you know. And the more the condom blasts he always starts saying ‘€˜you see, these things of yours, you say they are going to protect us’€¦

KHOPOTSO: Because of her boyfriend’€™s actions, she believes he is intentionally damaging the condoms. And she can prove it.

SONTO: Ja, I can say so, just because you can see now I’€™m pregnant’€¦ He knew that I was not using any prevention, you know’€¦ I can say he cheated on me. He was planning to have a baby without consulting me. And he came with other ways (she laughs).

KHOPOTSO: The Health Department plans to distribute about 400 million ‘€˜Choice’€™ condoms at 170 sites around the country this year. The female condom or Femidom, which is meant to put sexual protection in the hands of women is still unavailable to a large section of South African women, primarily due to pricing.        

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