Fx’€¦ (Ashwin and his thre-year old daughter dipping their feet in the pool water’€¦)

DAUGHTER: Dada, what is this?

ASHWIN: This is a micro-phone and the uncle is going to speak to dada. Because you’€™ve got sand in your hair you can’€™t speak, okay? You must be quiet’€¦

KHOPOTSO: At home at the pool with his three year old daughter Ashwin Willemse, cuts a different figure from the rugby player who plays for the Cats, Lions and the national Springbok team. Once the little girl is coaxed away he begins to speak about his recent HIV test.

ASHWIN WILLEMSE: Ja, I just got tested and it came out positive ‘€“ for me, that is ‘€“ and negative, for the disease. So, fortunately, I’€™m still negative.

KHOPOTSO: Was it the first time you took an HIV test?

ASWIN WILLEMSE: No, it was actually, probably, the third time that I took one. But, every time it feels like the first time because it’€™s almost like, for instance, in my game. You kind of know that you’€™re going to be picked for the Springbok team, but you sit there waiting for the announcement not knowing what to expect. Only when your name is mentioned, then, you enjoy the moment because now you know that you’€™re there. Ja, it was quite tough to know that you’€™ve beaten the disease once again.              

KHOPOTSO: Ashwin made the decision to get tested for HIV again after responding to the Khomanani campaign inviting South Africans to pledge action on HIV and AIDS in the build-up to World AIDS today.

ASHWIN WILLEMSE: It’€™s only because I’€™ve come to realise that we live in ignorance when it comes to the disease. Some of us think that we’€™re too wealthy to get the disease and others we’€™re too poor to get the disease. But, then, in the end we’€™re all stuck in the middle. And this time around I just thought, ‘€˜look, Ashwin, just go and get tested yourself. Become an ambassador through acting.

KHOPOTSO: What do you think that will serve?

ASHWIN WILLEMSE: I hope that our youth will also be encouraged to go and get tested themselves because if you look at the facts you look at the facts young guys and girls are having sex and some of them under the influence and they don’€™t use condoms and it’€™s a reality. It’€™s a fact.

I think we’€™re underestimating the spread of the disease amongst our youth. That’€™s why I hope that they will be encouraged because, me, myself I’€™m still in my early 20s. So, I hope that I encourage them to go and get tested and know their status, basically.

KHOPOTSO: Today, Willemse is married and has two children, the latest addition to the family being a three-month old. But at age 23 he’€™s still young and he knows what it’€™s like to be at risk of HIV infection. More so, if the often talked-about life of late-night parties, extreme boozing and scoring with the ladies that come with celebrity-hood is to be believed.    

ASHWIN WILLEMSE: I try to resist the temptation. But, however, I need to say that my first on the record test I was really stressed out because I knew that it could go either way because when I was younger, I mean I’€™m still young, but in my earlier days I also got caught up in the moment where you go out and you go on the booze. You get drunk off your feet that night. You only go out for two things: to have a good time, drink as much alcohol as you possibly can and, then, pick up a woman. And sometimes you’€™re so caught up in the moment where you think that ‘€˜I don’€™t want to waste time putting on a condom because she might change her mind’€™. And you end up doing it without a condom only to realise when you wake up the next morning what you’€™ve done. But, then you go out the week after it and you do it again. So, the first time that I got tested I was really quite stressed out because I knew that I have had unprotected sex with several ladies in the past and I was just afraid that my past could catch up with me. But, fortunately, it didn’€™t.

KHOPOTSO: Well, now would you say you’€™re older and wiser?

ASHWIN WILLEMSE: Most definitely, yes, I’€™d like to believe that I’€™ve grown up. I’€™ve learnt a lot, but I’€™m still learning. I’€™ve done mistakes, but now I’€™ve tried to correct my wrongs that I’€™ve done. I feel I’€™m a bit more mature than I used to be. I look at life differently. I approach life differently. And I value life and due to that fact you act responsibly.  

KHOPOTSO: It was during his early teens, at age 13 or 14, when he started having sex. I asked him about his first encounter.

ASHWIN WILLEMSE: Geez! I can’€™t remember the exact date or time or venue or person. It was nothing. It was a good time, but that was it. I can’€™t remember what it was like or what I felt.

KHOPOTSO: Looking back, Ashwin can now draw from that experience and many others that were to follow in coming up to this conclusion.    

ASHWIN WILLEMSE: Today, my biggest problem about sex is that it’€™s still good and everything, but I don’€™t value it as much as I could have if that didn’€™t happen in my past.

So, to all the young girls and the young boys if there’€™s one thing that they need to live for and try to reach is to always allow sex to be valuable to them and if you start at an early age it loses its value after a while’€¦ When are we going to get to a point where we actually say, ‘€˜look, even though I lust for sex now, I’€™m not going to have it. I’€™ll wait. That is what makes sex special – the fact that, even though, you lust for it you are willing to step back and say, ‘€˜I’€™m not going to do it now. I’€™m not married yet. I don’€™t have a condom on me. I don’€™t know you. Let us first go and get tested because you don’€™t know me’€™. That is when sex becomes special’€¦ Then, we’€™ll have a whole lot of more happier relationships, if we can only control our lust.