NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: Listening skills is very important’€¦ You can listen to everything, but be able to identify the main issue in what you are listening to’€¦ If you can fail to get the real issue from the caller, then’€¦ you’€™ll be giving the wrong information. So, the listening skill and the probing skill ‘€“ trying to get into details, getting more information from the caller ‘€“ and being patient as well is very important.

KHOPOTSO: Those are the attributes that make a good counsellor. Nditsheni Ratshitanga is a qualified social worker and has been working as a counsellor at loveLife’€™s youth hot-line, Thetha Junxion, almost immediately after graduation four years ago. Her love of helping others is what influenced her choice of career.

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: I love working with people. I just love helping people’€¦ I’€™ve always wanted to be a social worker. I think it started when I was still at high school’€¦ I’€™m glad that I did it. I’€™m glad.    

KHOPOTSO: Much of the help she gives in her job is to counsel youngsters between the ages of 12 ‘€“ 17. She says she takes a lot of calls – up to thousands daily ‘€“ from young people who phone in for advice on various issues.    

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: It’€™s not only about HIV/AIDS’€¦ We also give information on STI’€™s, teenage pregnancy, any issues that are related to young people’€¦ If they can’€™t deal with certain issues they just call us.

KHOPOTSO: A typical call that Nditsheni Ratshitanga would be along the following lines. Please note that this is not an actual call for help, but a re-enactment.  

Fx’€¦ (Phone rings)

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: Thank you for calling loveLife. Hello, may I help you?

CALLER: May I please speak to a counsellor?

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: You are speaking to a counsellor. How may I help you?
CALLER: My name is Sandra. I have a very serious problem.

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: Yes, Sandra?

CALLER: I found out that I’€™m three months pregnant and I don’€™t really know what to do or what to say to my parents.

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: When did you find out that you are pregnant?

CALLER: I went to the clinic last week because I skipped my periods and I had this smelly discharge that was coming (out). When I got to the clinic they told me that I’€™m two months pregnant.

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: I thought you said you were three months pregnant? Is it three months or two months?

CALLER: Two months.

NDITSHENI: Tell me, Sandra. Do you want to keep the baby?

CALLER: I’€™m not really sure what to do right now because I’€™m only 15 and I’€™m still in school. And I know my mum is gonna get very mad at me’€¦ My boyfriend also is telling me that it’€™s not his child. And you know what? My friend also made me to even get more worried. She said to me that a smelly discharge shows that I’€™m HIV-positive.                    

KHOPOTSO: That staged call is just an example of the type of problems South African youngsters face.

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: We have received a lot of calls where young people would say ‘€œI am HIV-positive’€. Sometimes they are scared to take the test because they know their sexual behaviour ‘€“ that, maybe, they were having sex without using protection. STI’€™s ‘€“ a lot of them. Sometimes they don’€™t even know that it’€™s (an) STI. They’€™ll be telling you about the symptoms ‘€“ that ‘€œI had sex and now this is happening. What’€™s wrong’€? So, we refer them to the clinics. We have what we call the NAFCI clinics at loveLife ‘€“ it’€™s a youth friendly clinic.

That’€™s where they can go if they are scared to talk with the nurses because it’€™s the problem they normally have that ‘€œI won’€™t go the clinic because the nurses will shout at me because I’€™m still young’€. We encourage them to go and talk to the counsellors at the clinics before they go straight to the nurses.

KHOPOTSO: As a mother of an 18-year old teenage boy, Nditsheni knows that her son is at risk of contracting HIV or another sexually transmitted infection or even fathering a child at an early stage. The risk of that happening, she believes, can only be minimised if she develops an interest in her son’€™s life.

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: Parents are not involved that much in the lives of their children’€¦ It must start at home where a child feels free to share about sexual issues with their parents. That is not happening. Talking about sex in our culture is like a taboo. It’€™s going to take time for parents to talk about sexual issues. But a lot is being done. It’€™s up to us as a community, everyone, to be involved.      

KHOPOTSO: In her role as a counsellor does she honestly feel that she is contributing to empower the youth of her country?

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: Yes, I am. I can’€™t say I’€™m not contributing because I am giving information. I am advising. I am counselling – even though you feel like, maybe, it’€™s not enough sometimes. But, yes, I think I am playing a role because someone who didn’€™t know about a certain issue knows about it because that person called and talked to me about it’€¦ It’€™s just that you don’€™t know at the end of the day whether that person is going to use that information or not.

KHOPOTSO: Even though, she feels that the help-line, which operates from 09h00 a.m. until 09h00 in the evening serves an important role, Nditsheni says being an office-based call-fielding counsellor has some limitations. And those tend to frustrate her.

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: Ha-ha. Sometimes. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Sometimes it does. Maybe it’€™s because of my background as a social worker. Social work is not only about counselling. It’€™s about community work. It’€™s about group work. It’€™s about being involved, being there. So, maybe, that’€™s why at the back of my mind I just feel like, maybe, I could have done more than what I’€™ve done now’€¦ because you are working in the office. You are not working with the people out there’€¦ You cannot observe some of the behaviours. And in terms of follow-up and doing community work if you are in the office you can’€™t do that.  

KHOPOTSO: At the end of a hard day fielding sometimes heart-wrenching calls, Nditsheni Ratshitanga has to go back home to her four kids and husband who are just as demanding of her time and care as the people who call in everyday at her place of work. How difficult can it get?

NDITSHENI RATSHITANGA: It doesn’€™t reach that stage where I would never have time with my family because of my work’€¦ I don’€™t think it’€™s fair. They need my time’€¦ I try by all means to be myself. I’€™ll deal with whatever that is bothering me later if there is something at that particular moment’€¦ especially if you have kids.