Abused Limpopo woman uses poetry to heal

Home / News / Abused Limpopo woman uses poetry to heal
The Limpopo NPO for Domestic Violence victims is on the verge of shutting down Credit: Leah Lockhart/ Flickr (File Photo).
The Limpopo NPO for Domestic Violence victims is on the verge of shutting down Credit: Leah Lockhart/ Flickr (File Photo).

She said from the outside people saw her as a happily married woman but inside her home, where there was supposed to be love and comfort, she was dying.

“I suffered four miscarriages. He and his family called me names and said I was killing his babies,” Selemela said about her ex-husband. The marriage, she says, was her most debilitating encounter.

She said she didn’t just suffer emotional pain, but physical pain and once took out a protection order against him.

Young

Selemela, who grew up in Moletje Ga-Rametloane in Limpopo, came to Johannesburg to look for a better life – instead, she said, she met a man who would ruin her life. “I was young, in love and could not resist the joy of getting married.” But her joy was short lived.   

“I used to write everything down – every minute of abuse. This was my way of healing. With this book, I want to tell other women that abuse is real. It filled me with anger. I remember how I nearly threw boiling water at him while he was asleep. Luckily I didn’t,” she says.

Lisa Vetten, a gender-based violence expert, said researches have shown that writing about one’s abusive past is therapeutic, which is why many women who have been abused have written books and kept diaries. “It is another way of coping. Instead of bottling things up, you write them down. You externalise them,” she said.

Selemela said she had forgiven her ex-husband, but not to go back to him – and for her own sake.

“I forgave him so I could move on. I could no longer hold onto grudges. You must give yourself a second chance in life.” 

An edited version of this story was published by IOL.

Author

  • Ramatamo Sehoai

    Ramatamo Sehoai is an award-winning community journalist from Alexandra Township who curved his health journalism at FrayIntermedia and Mail & Guardian. He has written for numerous publications as a freelancer and won fellowships. Ramatamo is one of our Gauteng based citizen journalists and hosts a weekly talk show at Alex FM. He is also studying towards a BA Honours in Journalism and Media studies at Wits University.

    View all posts

Free to Share

Creative Commons License

Republish our articles for free, online or in print, under a Creative Commons license.


Stay in the loop

We love that you love visiting our site. Our content is free, but to continue reading, please register.

Newsletter Subscription

Be in the know with our free weekly newsletter. We deliver a round-up of our top stories and insightful reads from across the web.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Enable Notifications OK No thanks