Stories From The Ground: Teen mum juggling school and a baby set to write matric finals


My name is Karabo Nkabinde, a 19-year-old mother to a beautiful boy.
I am a Grade 12 pupil at Kgoro Ya Thuto Secondary School in Heidelberg, a small town south east of Johannesburg.
I was 17 -years- old and in Grade 10 when I discovered that I was pregnant in June 2022. It came as a shock when my mother suggested that I should go to the local clinic for a pregnancy test. I don’t know why she suspected that I was pregnant. I was so sure that I would prove her wrong because I had had my regular periods.
When I got to the clinic, I was given a small plastic container to pee in it and take it back to the nurse. The nurse looked at me and said: “You are pregnant”. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I had unanswered questions.
How did it happen? I mean the last time I slept with a boy was in January – and we only did it once. For the past months, I hadn’t experienced morning sicknesses or strange cravings except that I was gaining weight.
I asked the nurse how I got pregnant and she said I was the only person who could answer that. She then took me to another room for an ultrasound scan. All this time since I found out I was pregnant, I was absent-minded, this is not how I had planned my life. I was brought back from the deep thoughts when she rubbed a cold gel on my lower abdomen. She rubbed my stomach using a sensor (transducer) and the baby started moving.
I heard my baby’s heartbeat and I truly don’t know how I felt at that time. The nurse said I was 26 weeks pregnant, meaning I was almost six months. Everything was just a shock to me, I left the clinic confused.
At home they didn’t say much, I guess they knew all along that I was pregnant. It was one of the aunts who said all the hurtful things to me. I then started going to the clinic for the pregnancy checkup visits.
Pregnancy and school
At school people thought I was a lesbian because of my dress code. I was always dressed in baggy T-shirts and pants. As a result, my friends did not believe me when I told them I was pregnant, they thought I was joking. I guess they only believed that I was pregnant when my stomach started showing, and they were so supportive.
Unfortunately, I could not go back when the schools reopened for term four in October that year. My stomach was too big and I did not want to give birth at school. However, with the help of my friends, I was able to keep up to date with the school work.
I even prepared myself to write the final exams which started on 10 November. I wrote my first paper on a Thursday. Everything was normal when I went back home after school. In the evening I started having pains and on Friday morning my mother took me to hospital. I gave birth to my baby boy on the same day. By Monday, I was back at school writing the exams. I had already failed Grade 10 and there was no way I was going to repeat it again.
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It was not easy because in the mornings, I had to express breast milk for my baby before leaving for school. My mother would look after him. I was fortunate that the father and his family were also supportive. I passed Grade 10 with flying colours and in 2023, I started Grade 11.
It became my daily routine for about six months to express breast milk in the morning and rush home after school to breastfeed my child.
Before I was always out in the streets with my friends, but now my baby came first. I had to do my house chores and still tend to the baby. My mother would look after him when I had to go to school or if I had a netball match. I envied my friends when I saw them doing things we used to do together like attending traditional dance events or when they would share what they did the previous night. I am glad that I never quit school because now, I will be writing my matric final exams.
The importance of using protection and contraceptives
I did not know anything about contraceptives when I slept with my baby daddy. It was our first time and we did not think much about it.
I would suggest that parents speak to their children – both girls and boys – about sex. It was a lack of knowledge that saw me pregnant at a young age.
It was never part of my plans to be a teenage mother. I mean, I also wanted to spend time with my friends at the mall instead of changing diapers and breastfeeding.
There are different types of contraceptives, don’t be scared to go to the clinic and ask for advice from the nurses.
I was put on a three-month contraceptive (depo provera). It’s free, you don’t pay anything, you just go to the clinic every three months to get the injection. There is a two-month injection as well or you can take the birth control pills.
During my pregnancy journey, I learned that not using protection exposed me to a lot of infections, in addition to pregnancy.
I am glad that I didn’t drop out of school because I need to create a better future for myself and my boy who is turning 2 years old next month. – Health-e News
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Health-e News is South Africa's dedicated health news service and home to OurHealth citizen journalism. Follow us on Twitter @HealtheNews
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Stories From The Ground: Teen mum juggling school and a baby set to write matric finals
by Health-e News, Health-e News
October 25, 2024
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