A Musina mother says she was trapped in a violent family home with her four children after being unable to find a shelter to move her children to, and could not afford to leave while unemployed. 

Makwanela* says she eventually moved her children out of her extended family home after she found work. She says the effects of the violence on her children remains and is struggling to find psychosocial support from the Department of Social Development. 

“I felt that I needed space for my children to heal. I also needed space to heal,” says Makwanela*

Makwarela* says violence was part of her own childhood. Physical punishment was regarded as discipline and children were not expected to question adults. “I grew up in a family where they believed that hitting or punishing a child physically is discipline. I was not supposed to have a voice,” she says.

Her parents divorced when she was about six and she went to live with her grandmother. “When you are in a setup where your parents are not there, no one can be there to protect you, no one can be there to advocate for you or speak for you,” she says.

Violence followed her into adulthood

As an adult, Makwarela* says she and her children were exposed to violence involving her younger brother in the extended family home. She says her brother assaulted girlfriends he brought home and sometimes used weapons. When Makwarela* intervened, she says she was also injured and required hospital treatment.

“We found ourselves being held hostage countless times at home, him bringing his friends, him using weapons on us, him injuring me to a point where I even had to go to the hospital,” she says.

Her children witnessed some of the violence. Makwarela* says one became extremely frightened during violent incidents. “The child would be filled with so much fear that you can literally see her shaking like a leaf,” she says. 

Research finds high exposure to violence in children’s homes

According to research cited by UNICEF, one in four South African children between five and sixteen years old has experienced family violenc. A long-running study  following children in Johannesburg and Soweto found even higher levels of exposure. More than half of the children in the study had been exposed to violence in their homes during childhood. Researchers linked exposure to violence to anxiety, fear, aggression and other mental health difficulties.

Thandeka Nhlapo, director of the Mpulalanga Mental Health Society, says the effects on children can continue after the immediate violence has ended.

“A home that should provide safety can become a place of fear, uncertainty and emotional distress,” Nhlapo tells Health-e News. She says repeated exposure to violence can affect children’s sense of safety and their understanding of relationships, trust and boundaries.

Nhlapo says domestic violence is not limited to violence between intimate partners. South Africa’s Domestic Violence Act also covers abuse between family members related by blood, including siblings. The amended law also recognises exposing a child to domestic violence as a form of domestic violence.

Trying to leave

In 2024, Makwarela began looking for a way to get herself and her children out of the violent environment. She was unemployed and could not afford to rent a home. Makwarela says she needed a safe shelter but was unable to access one. Makwanela says she felt trapped and had to apply for a protection order against her brother to keep her and her children safe.

After finding a job in March this year, she was able to rent a home for herself and her children. “I got myself a job. And then that’s when I started giving my children the help that they need, until I moved them out of that environment,” she says.

But she remains worried about the impact of what they experienced. “Even now, I’m still making means to get them help, because I’m spotting certain traits, certain behaviours based on what they have gone through,” she says.

Shortage of social workers and shelters

Makwarela* says she contacted the Department of Social Development in Musina in recent weeks to request psychosocial support for her children. She says she is still waiting for feedback.

Limpopo’s provincial government acknowledges shortages of social workers, psychologists and other staff for services for survivors of gender based violence. In its development plan it says it funds more than 80 victim empowerment programmes through non-government organisations in an effort to bridge that gap. 

Health-e News approached the Limpopo Department of Social Development several times for comment but had not received a response by the time of publication.

Makwarela* says after moving out of a violent home, she is only now able to start rebuilding her life.

“I am getting my power back. I’m getting my voice back. I can stand up for myself,” she says.

*Not her real name.

Where to get help

Nhlapo says counselling and social support can help children and survivors process violence and develop healthier ways of coping. Mpumalanga Mental Health Society provides therapeutic and psychosocial support through offices across Mpumalanga.

The organisation also has offices in Bushbuckridge, Delmas, Lydenburg, Middelburg, Nelspruit, Piet Retief, Secunda, Siyabuswa and Standerton.

Mpumalanga Mental Health Society provincial office: 081 731 1280 | Email: manager1.mmhs@gmail.com